we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
