Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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