he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize