Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
