you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
