I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize