when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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