i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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