Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
