Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
