have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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