I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I look better un-naked...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
