Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
