Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
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