it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
