I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity