alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
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