I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
