I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize