He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
