sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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