Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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