I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize