doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
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I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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