just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
