I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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