I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize