Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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