Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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