I got chris browned last night
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
