Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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