i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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