Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So much rum. So many feels.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
