C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
