maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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