their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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