I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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