She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize