I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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