His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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