Tell her she can't have a vagina
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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