I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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