what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
