I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Drake has all the answers
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
