No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
