Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
