Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize