JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
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It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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