Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize