I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
