I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
