Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
