Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
