I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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