I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
