just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize