Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
