Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
