I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
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If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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